Freitag, Juni 27, 2014

Let me tell you a story: I'm a Prisoner of the JVM


In JVM prison we live in a totalitarian system. You are not allowed to do something unless you are called to do something.

You can call someone else to ask for assistance. But that's no fun either. You have to stand still and wait for the other to complete your call.

Some poor guys call themselves to experience the joy of activity. If you call yourself too often, guards will step in and brutally silence you.

Whenever you do not behave properly, an alarm goes on. The guards try to manage exceptional situations one way or the other. They hate to face a situation they are not prepared to handle.

There are instructions we have to follow when called for action. Very often the instructions are carelessly written and buggy. We get punished if we misbehave and guards yell at us.

Life in JVM is full of shit. A lot of us are dying. When they bury the dead, they call it "garbage collection". Can you imagine that?

Fight for a better JVM. Fight for programmers who care about objects. 
Fight for objectivity. 

Know what you are doing when programming in Java, Clojure or Scala!

Remark: While thinking about a nice way to explain object-orientation, I suddenly found myself inventing this story about "The dark side of the JVM". It's just a story. Don't worry, keep on and enjoy programming, they are just objects ;-)

Keine Kommentare: